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This thesis examines ambiguity in the aftermath of casual (hetero)sex and rape. In the dominant Norwegian narrative about rape and sexual ethics, what distinguish ‘good’ sex from rape is the presence or absence of consent. Sex should be consensual, and sex without consent is considered rape. This narrative is designed to be pedagogical in its simplicity. However, many individuals find it difficult to label their own experiences of unwanted sex as rape. One way to understand this ambivalence and ambiguity is to examine the relationship between sex and self. What one does sexually—what one is attracted to, enjoys, accepts, and seeks—is often tied to one's sense of self, and influence how one is perceived by others. Thus, sex is a potentially transformative act, where sexual experiences can alter both personal and others' perceptions of oneself. This potential is particularly pronounced when sex does not proceed as intended, or when it goes wrong. Ambivalence and ‘the Grey Area’ The thesis delves into the so-called ‘grey area’ between sex and rape. This grey area encompasses sexual encounters that fit both, neither, or somehow occupy both categories of "sex" and "rape." To investigate how sex sometimes straddles these two categories, the thesis is based on 30 qualitative interviews with women (19) and men (11) about rape, as well as unwanted and confusing experiences with casual, alcohol-related casual sex. From these interviews, it appears that part of what contributes to ambivalence is the narrative that "sex without consent is rape,” which simplifies the relationship between sex and rape. Participants in this study find their experiences to be far more complex and ambiguous than the dominant narrative allows. What Happened, and Who Do I Become? The participants in this study largely relate their ambivalence and confusion not to whether their experiences involved consent or not, but to the context in which these experiences occurred and the potential consequences they may have for their lives. One of the main arguments of the thesis is that the frameworks, expectations, and personal perceptions of what is acceptable or unacceptable are shaped by one’s environment, who one is with, what one believes others will think, and the implications that sex may have for one's future. Consequently, participants’ ambivalence and confusion can be more readily understood in light of what happened prior to the unwanted sex, what they wanted to happen, and what they anticipate will happen afterward, rather than what transpired in the moment. Sex or Rape, Clarity or Confusion? When rape is defined as sex without consent, and when consent simultaneously constitutes the foundation of ‘good’ sex, sexual ethics and criminal law become intertwined. Operating with a clear-cut understanding of the relationship between sex and rape easily forces ambiguous experiences into one of two respective categories. An ambivalent experience is either rendered unambiguously ‘good’ or labeled as rape. If it is deemed ‘good,’ there is little room for doubt or confusion afterward. If classified as rape, the experience is characterized as ‘bad,’ which quickly triggers a cascade of expectations and obligations that can affect one’s personal life and foreseeable future. Thus, consent—intended to create clarity and clear distinctions—can contribute to further confusion and mess, as the dominant narrative often leaves little space for the complexities of lived life and experience.
